Life on my own.
Back in the last part of July to the beginning of August, my wife of 21 years comes to me and tell me that she is done with our marriage and is moving out. After Labor Day she has moved to her mothers. For me this was very painful but also a little scary for me as well. In my whole life of 43 years, this is truly the first time I am on my own.
I can hear it now, the question. You have never been on you own until now? Well let me explain. I am a practicing Mormon, and have grown up in the church. Until last year, young men of the age of 19 could be called to serve a two year mission for the church. (The church lowered the age last October 2012 to 18 years old.) So, August of 1988, I turned 19, and put in my papers to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. By the middle of September I knew were I was to serve, the Ireland, Dublin Mission for 2 years, and to leave my home for Provo Utah, to the Missionary Training Center (MTC), in late November.
Once at the MTC, you are assigned a companion, for your stay there. My MTC companion was Kevin Ford from Phoenix. By December 19, we leave the MTC for Ireland. In Ireland we get a new experienced companion who will teach us how to do the work in the mission field. So on the mission you are called to work were ever the Lord sends you and you work with different missionaries as well. In 2 years, I worked with 12 different area, and in 15 different companions. The only time you are by yourself is transferees. And that time is always short, by just a few hours.
I was released from missionary duties on Oct 30, 1990. I am living at home and getting ready to go to Mesa Community College. January 1991, the school year has started, and this is about the same time I start dating. My friend Bryan Lawlor, said that he had a friend I might like to date. So I said OK and that is when I started dating my future wife. By the end of February we are engaged and we are married in June 1991.
So there is timeline. From high school, to mission, to marriage. While married, we were apart from time to time but nothing more than a week. But I am not written this for anyone to feel sorry for me. But to point out that being in you 40's, on you own, for the first time is a weird experience. But don't worry, I am doing OK. I was lucky enough to grow up in a home, where chores were to be done, and my mom did teach me how to cook. Plus I do know how to read instruction, which comes in handy. I think the hardest part is the loneliness. But by time those feelings will pass. I HOPE!
I can hear it now, the question. You have never been on you own until now? Well let me explain. I am a practicing Mormon, and have grown up in the church. Until last year, young men of the age of 19 could be called to serve a two year mission for the church. (The church lowered the age last October 2012 to 18 years old.) So, August of 1988, I turned 19, and put in my papers to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. By the middle of September I knew were I was to serve, the Ireland, Dublin Mission for 2 years, and to leave my home for Provo Utah, to the Missionary Training Center (MTC), in late November.
Once at the MTC, you are assigned a companion, for your stay there. My MTC companion was Kevin Ford from Phoenix. By December 19, we leave the MTC for Ireland. In Ireland we get a new experienced companion who will teach us how to do the work in the mission field. So on the mission you are called to work were ever the Lord sends you and you work with different missionaries as well. In 2 years, I worked with 12 different area, and in 15 different companions. The only time you are by yourself is transferees. And that time is always short, by just a few hours.
I was released from missionary duties on Oct 30, 1990. I am living at home and getting ready to go to Mesa Community College. January 1991, the school year has started, and this is about the same time I start dating. My friend Bryan Lawlor, said that he had a friend I might like to date. So I said OK and that is when I started dating my future wife. By the end of February we are engaged and we are married in June 1991.
So there is timeline. From high school, to mission, to marriage. While married, we were apart from time to time but nothing more than a week. But I am not written this for anyone to feel sorry for me. But to point out that being in you 40's, on you own, for the first time is a weird experience. But don't worry, I am doing OK. I was lucky enough to grow up in a home, where chores were to be done, and my mom did teach me how to cook. Plus I do know how to read instruction, which comes in handy. I think the hardest part is the loneliness. But by time those feelings will pass. I HOPE!
Sometimes good things have to fall apart so better things can come together. Scary I know, but you have no idea what is waiting for you around the next corner. Be ready for what awaits you!! Don't look back....you're not going that way!
ReplyDeleteYes it is hard but it passes. I have been divorced twice. :/ Night Times always were the hardest for me. Keep yourself and your mind busy! Good Luck!
ReplyDelete