Why I Stayed!

The last year kind of seems like a dream.  I did not want it to come down to a divorce, that is what I did not want.  But it is what is about to happen.  But than again it is not the first time that this topic has come up in my life, and back in 2008, I thought about leaving my wife back then.

I do not mean to bust some peoples bubbles in thinking that I am this Innocent person in all this, but I am not.  I have done some things in the past that I am not proud of, and that is what brings me to 2008. If you what the details of what I did, you will not get that here.  But at this time in my life I had been going done a road that I should have never gone down.  And it effected me to the point that I did not think that I wanted to be married any more.  I even told my wife that I did not really like her at this time. 

At this time I had a friend, that knew what I was going through and they told me that I needed to change my ways.  I did not really want to hear that.  But at the time I was an instructor in Priesthood, a calling that I loved.  I was giving a lesson and I think it was on repentance and it rang so true to me.  After some soul searching, I knew that I had to repent of all that I was doing.  That I was wrong in the way I had treated my wife.  I called up an made an appointment to see the bishop and I called the Elder's Quorum President and told him that I needed to step down from teaching.

The repentance process was long and hard.  My wife stayed with me the whole time, and reminded me that our marriage was for all time and eternity.  This really stuck with me and I really wanted it to be  forever. 

One of the things that keep me around at this time was my in-laws.  The had three kids, my wife and twins.  They had had a ruff time raising the twins.  My wife seemed to be the one that stayed on the straight path. Over the years, my wife sister's both had failed marriages.  I did not want my in-laws to have three.  So I wanted to save them the pain of have three daughters that had three failed marriages.

I know what some are saying at this point.  It is yeah right. But it is the truth.  I wish I had never done the things I did to my wife.  Because she never forgave of it.  And, if I knew now, the pain I would be going through now, I would have let it all end back them.  But I felt it was better to hang on then to just give up.

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