The Future?

OK, so people who have been reading my blog are say, didn't you already do this one two months ago?  Well, yes, but that was What will the Future hold.   Well I think this is a little different.  A Facebook friend a few days ago, said that I should write down what I think the future would look like.  I find this question a kin to being asked this in school, what do you want to be when you grow up?  So here I set almost 44 years old.  Marriage is going, going, almost gone.  Career is a struggling Internet sales business.  And my faith in God is still there by hanging on there by a thread.  One friend says it is time for a reboot.

When I finished High School the only goals that I had, was go on a mission, go to college, get  marriage, have a family and a house.  Well as most of you have read, you know how the first two ended up.  And as a week ago, I found out the marriage, is beyond repair.  I leave 21 years with out a spouse and with no children.  I always dreamed of being a father.  I never had dream career, it was having a family that meant the most.  The reason why we did not have children, I have no idea.  I had a hang up about adoption, even though my own mother was adopted.  It took me till I was almost 40 to realize how wrong I was, and by then the job a General Plumbing was slipping away and our finances were getting worse, so it became a no option. I have to live with that choice the rest of my life.

As I have stated before, I took architecture classes in high school.  My senior yea,  in architecture II, we were given the task to design our own homes.  One of my dreams was to life in a house that I had designed.  I use to work on plans just for fun, but the desk now is full of other stuff.  I have my own house, not what I dreamed of, but it is a home none the less.  We moved in almost 9 years on the 4th of July.  The past 4 years have been hard to keep the payments up, and I do not know if I will stay here or not.  It almost seems like that dream is slipping through my hands as well.

When the divorce is Final, I know that I am going to have a hard time with dating.  I am not a really social person.  Yes, I have 333 friends on Facebook, but really have one friend that I hand with.  So I don't know what is going to happen.

So I guess I still do not know what is to become of me in the future.  I which I could see me in a better way, but that person really seems to me like a fantasy. And I do not think right now I am in the place to set new goals for the future, but maybe a few months down the road.

Comments

  1. BevJune 30, 2013 at 9:25 AM

    hang in there, be faithful, know what you want......don't look back. Sometimes good things have to fall apart so better things can come together!

    ReplyDelete
  2. undergroundcarguyJune 30, 2013 at 6:06 PM

    But why do they all have to fall apart at the same time. It just does not seem fair at times.

    ReplyDelete
  3. daveJuly 1, 2013 at 6:18 AM

    Have you ever read Who Moved my Cheese? It deals with change. It was a mandate at work a few years ago. After I read that, I understand a little better how I need to deal with it. Doesn't make it easier, but a little understanding helps sometimes.
    Once we understand that it is inevitable, and that standing still doesn't help, we can take steps to make the best of it.
    What does the "best of it" mean for Bill? No one but Bill can figure that out. But staying home won't do it. You need to change lanes, downshift, and pick a new line.

    ReplyDelete

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