Underground Car Guy

My experience with long distance relationships is not a good one.  I have had two in the past 2 years that I have been divorced.  Both ended with a text saying they were getting married to someone else.  I told myself never again.  Local Girls Only!!!  But the local girls have not panned out either. As I was recovering from a forced vacation ( 2 weeks in a hospital and 3 weeks in a rehab center), I was surfing the LDS dating sites.  I got a message from a girl that was from Utah and we started talking.  We both told each other that we were not really looking for a long distance relationship thing.  She dated a few times as we talked and kept telling me how the guys there were not up to par.  We kept talking almost everyday and the bond kept on building.  She did come see for my birthday, and even meet my Best Friend and his family.  There is a connection between us.  We talk or Skype to each other almost everyday.  I hope to see she next month when I go to Utah.  We will see wer

So my best friends son has set up a go fund me page, to help pay for my medical and regular bills since I am out of work.  Hope to get back to work soon, but have to wait to see the lung doctor to get clearance.  Here is the link for the GoFundMe page.

April marked three years that I have been writing here.  There have been a lot of ups and downs, probably more downs then anything else.  But I am glad I have  had this place to kind of get things off my chest.  I know that some of my writing have been very dark, but that is what I was feel or going through at the time.  I feel like life has gotten much better since I have started this, with the hospital stay being a set back.  But I am moving forward  And hopefully be able to achieve some of the goals and plans I have set in the future.  Only time will tell. There have been over 10,000 view of my blog over the three years.  I know of  few that have read it, but would love to know who have and why?  But I thank you for following and all of the love and support that you have shown me.

As I sit here in the rehab center, my thoughts are what happens when I get out.  I have to make a lot of life changes.  A lot I knew I need to change before I got sick, but there are some unanswered as well. The one that is unanswered at this time is oxygen.  Do I have to go home still using oxygen, and will it be for the rest of my life.  I am to young to be tired to an oxygen tank.  I have a lot I still want to do, and if I had the oxygen, I would not be able to do them, like go to Germany.  It does not seem like they are trying to whine me off it. So I don't know. I really worry about work and paying my bills.  On May 9, with the help of my dad and the hospital, I filed for Family Leave.  But my work has still not processed it yet.  Also with work, there was a week, were my phone did not work and I was so out of it, that I did not call in sick, even though my supervisor knows I was in the hospital.  But work marked me as a No Show.  So I don't know what is going to happ

Three weeks ago I knew I was sick.  I knew I could not breath.  That I could not walk to my car to a computer at work.  I knew that it hurt to walk to the wash er to do laundry and back.  I kept this up for 2 weeks.  I wish that the doctors office would have read the chest x-ray that I had taken the week before earlier so it would have made me go to the Hospital sooner.  But who am I kidding.  Everyone around me were telling me I was not OK.  I took trying to get to work and a friend that would not let up that would get me there. So on the 28 of April I sat in my room trying to get ready for work.  It was just not happening.  I called in sick and by 3 and talking to my friend Delmar I was going to the hospital.  Getting to the hospital took me  hours to get there.  Just had no energy.    I was admitted and that started the crazy ride in the hospital.  The next day I was just sitting in bed trying to talk to people on the phone, but that was just to hard to do.  I told the nurse

  Last night, for just a brief moment, I was back at the track.  I found the 944 ready to go.  Dad had her all set up.  But it has been awhile, and I have a few questions. The first one was, has the car been teched.  My dad's reply, Don't worry about it, it has been taken care of. I don't have  licence.  My dad's reply,  Don't worry about it, it has been taken care of. My helmet is out of date and my racing suit will not fit.  My dad's reply, Don't worry about it, it has  been taken care of. Who was the sanctioning body for this race.  My dad's reply, don't worry about it, it has been taken care of.  My only worry now, is would I remember how to drive the car.  Would I know the breaking points.  But I looked around at all of the people, some I remember, and all the different cars.  Out to have fun for just a brief moment.  A moment that never happened at 3 in the morning.

  Note:  I started writing this in the summer of 2014 when we did stop selling our products. I have struggled with this for a few weeks now.  Eaglegate is locking the doors and turning off the lights for the last time.  It really is not something that I want to do, but I can not afford to keep it running.  And dad's heart just is not into it anymore. I am grateful for all the things that I learned from this time.  I m grateful for all of those that believed in our products.  To see them go all around the world was exciting. Thanks you to all those that support me, my father and my family at this time.    

A few years ago I was dating a girl that liked to pray before we ended our calls at night.  We would trade off nights saying the prayers.  At one point she asked if I could shorten my prayers.  My prayers were so long because I was praying for all of the people that were important in my life.   Tonight, I was texting a girl I have been talking to for the past month.  She is really busy with work and her kids and is taking online course for college.  I had not talked to over a week so, to get a text from her was great.  I told her that I had been praying for her, and her reply was, you shouldn't.  Why?  I am still waiting for a reply. I have only been really praying regularly just the past few years.  I have always had a hard time praying, and asking for help from  God has not always been easy, and I am not grateful for many things.  I know that sounds bad, but that is just me.  (Really can I be grateful for a goods night sleep, when I am up and down 2 or 3 times and only ge

It seems like since 2009 my life has been one big failure after another.  From being laid off from my job, to not being able to work with my dad in the business we started and he said was mine, to losing my married, and my house.   I sometimes wonder if I have something genetically in me to fail.  I sometimes wonder if I was the root cause of my learning disability.  Is there a laziness gene that I have, that causes me not to finish things.   But I look back and see that I did finish High School and did get accepted into a private college that I did not go to.  I went on a mission where I was aloud to serve 23 months of it.  I did go to college and earned a degree after failing some classes, even one twice.  And I did have a job at the same company for almost 17 years.   But it is hard to shake off what has happened in the last 6 years.  Yes I have a good job now that pays me more then I was making at General Plumbing, but I am having to make up for decisions that I ma