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The What if Game

One of the games that the mind likes to play, when we are down, is the what if game.  It makes us wonder what would are world be like if we had taken a different path.  And I have a few what ifs. Before my mom died about 10 years ago, she told me that after moving back to the States, they almost did not move to Chattanooga, Tennessee.  At the time, there were a lot of race riots happening, and this was happen in Chattanooga.  Her parents wanted her to move to Boise, Idaho.  So I wonder what it would have been like to grow up in Boise, not the South?  Would my life be completely different?  Would we have ever moved to Arizona?   What if I had not change my mind and gone to BYU and not Arizona State?  Would I be working for the Government?  Would I be working to make real changes to our Government? What if I had called the girl of my dreams, when she gave me her number?  Would I have married my ex wife? What if I would have meet my gi...
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Vacations: Kim's Birthday Surprise

In 1999, I wanted to do something special for Kim for her birthday.   So I had planned a vacation the weekend after her birthday.  I had made all the plans a few weeks in advance.  The Thursday before, I went and order some flowers and put on the card, "Hurry home after work because we have to pack and get on a plane."  And had them delivered to her work.  So she got home and packed and headed to the airport to catch a plane to Los Angles.  Kim now knew we were going to California, and LA, but not really where we were going.  We land in LA and pick up our rental car.  And I start my drive down the freeway.  Kim still not having a clue were we were going.  I get off the freeway and turn into the Disneyland Hotel.  Where we are going to stay for two night.  Before we left, I went to the Disney Store and bought tickets for the park those days.  The added bonus in staying at the Hotel, was that we got to get in early...
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Feeling left behind

Over the past month I have been to two baptisms, two farewells and a home coming.  It reminds me of what I do not have in my life, children.  I also have had my 44th birthday, which I spent on my own.  My marriage of 22 years is gone, and I really have nothing to show that I am here. But I have been living some what an oddity in the Mormon Church.  Having been married for so long, with no kids, you just don't get the feeling that you are part of the church family.  I have set in many a Priesthood Class, hearing the teacher tell how special it is to be a father, and how closer to God you are.  I really have not made a lot of friends in these wards, because I have no  kids that are in the same Primary Class, Sunday School Class, or Mutual. It even feels like the newly married couple, when they do get pregnant, that they are now one up on me. A few years ago, our Ward did away with the Family Camp Out.  But what stayed were the father/daughter a...
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